Furlough 46: 😴

I worked on some scenario exercises for my new novel. This is the phase of my work where I write several scenarios to flex possibilities for the next draft. I gave myself 2,500 words. It feels like I wrote 100,000.

This is because for the third night in a row, I can’t sleep. Straight up, wide awake and energetic an hour after I fall asleep. I can’t feel like that in the morning but I got it in full at two in the morning.

The worst is I followed all the rules of sleeping right and I still feel like shit. I should’ve done some drugs, drank a quart of bourbon, stayed up till three in the morning, and eaten my weight in Taco Bell because it feels like that’s what I did. So…yay! ☹️

So I typed for five seconds, checked my phone, got up, sat down, checked the word count, type for two seconds, zoned out, checked the word count, checked the word count after spacing out, checked the word count again, typed a line.

And the funniest part is for this first scenario, all I had to do was paraphrase my rough draft, a story I already knew.

But I did it. I breathed, I told myself that it was okay and I pressed on. My self-hate was right there along with me whispering all types of things that normally would’ve had me quitting, but I kept drinking my tea and typing away. Sloooooooow but steadily winning the day.

Time to read some Gundam and pass out.

Create and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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